Another Week, Another Conquest

Another Week, Another Conquest.

Onetouchables 8-1 Red Team
The Onetouchables third game into the season saw them looking to build on the previous week’s triumph and continue their winning streak. A hungry 8 man squad featured for the 1T’s and for the first time shared an equal amount of game time. Absentee Chuck Purdy gave ‘being shattered from work’ as his meagre excuse although other reports suggest he may have been busy being cynical and sarcastic. Gump.
Nevertheless the show must go on and on it went, with explosive results. Luke ‘The Tinker Man’ Suttonfield mixed things up with a controversial starting 5, selecting Ross ‘Barn Door’ Conquest to lead the line for the opening exchanges. The brothers Williams and Dr. Cass were left to simmer on the bench wondering what brand of bleach Sutton had been drinking. Turns out it was Domestos as we killed 99% of the Red Team dead. Other reports suggest Mig still wasn’t 100% recovered from ‘the hangover that shook Watford’.
The game inevitably sprung into frenzied action with both sides sizing each other up. An ambiguous technical foul was given away by opposition keeper whose day was about to go from bad to awful. The resulting free-kick on the edge of the box was expertly dispatched as a quick-thinking Sutton slid a perfect ball to Conquest who still had to conjure up a seasoned finish. The Pelican’s first goal in 12 years for club or country was greeted by mixture of relief and disbelief by his teammates who were awaiting the inevitable spoon into the basketball hoop. Conquest’s opener gave the team a lift and they continued to apply pressure and dominate proceedings without finding the net. However, as so often is the case with these games, a one goal cushion is often deflated by some prick. The Red Team mounted a ridiculously laboured counter-attack and defiantly finished the move off with a tidy top corner finish leaving The Monk to stand and admire as the ball swerved over his right shoulder.
This provoked a pleasingly impressive reaction from the Onetouchables. Conquest took a breather and A Williams stepped into the finely balanced fray, and his telepathic link-up play with the player-manager evidenced in the previous week’s game was immediately apparent. Deep into the Onetouchables half, Warnett slipped a delicate ball into A Williams’ feet who flicked a one-touch round the corner ball to Sutton. Despite the pressure of two men, Sutton elegantly returned the ball into the onrushing path of Williams who managed to gas the only man on the pitch slower than himself and pop the futsal into the top bin via a textbook toe-punt. (see Ronaldo – Brazil v Turkey 2002).
What followed was the systematic demolition of the once feisty Red Team. Neat football and well-timed one-twos allowed the Onetouchables to create chances at will and two further first-half goals soon followed compliments of Sutton and A Williams. Both assisted each other and finished with style and aplomb making it 4-1 at half time. Sutton had opened his account and was once again putting in a stylish performance, grabbing a goal which his previous performance had lacked yet thoroughly deserved. Joe Johnson once again impressed with the doggedness of Palacios and the deft technique of Huddlestone; effortlessly linking up defence and attack whilst providing valuable protection to Warnett and Cairns who were both putting in superb shifts.
The Onetouchables rang in the changes at the interval and the rout continued. A demonstration of power and precision saw Warnett glide down the left and selflessly square the ball to Conquest who gladly tucked away his second of the game. George’s contribution in both attack and defence was paying dividends and the introduction of Joe Cass also produced an unlikely attacking influence. His best chance came off the back of Sutton rounding the defence and the keeper only to find the upright, the domineering centre-half then retrieved the rebound and with the goal at his mercy, struck the ball beautifully into the side-netting. Apparently he can only score from 40 yards out. M Williams once again put in a resolute showing, showcasing a deft combination of robust defending and standing in the way.
A Williams completed his hat-trick after his own left-footed effort was parried straight back into his path, a powerful finish into the top bin essentially put the game out of reach and this was quickly followed by an instinctive poacher’s finish from the name on everyone’s lips; Conquest. His first competitive hat-trick rounded off a Man of the Match performance. A late fourth from A Williams poured salt in the wounds as a mixture of neat footwork, poor defending and sheer luck allowed him to beat the defence and the keeper and literally walk the ball into the net.
Overall another satisfying victory for the Onetouchables and one which enabled each member of the squad to display their unique talents. The roll-on sub system both keep everyone fresh and exhausted the opposition who, although incredibly inept, tried hard for about 2 minutes, you can only beat who they put in front of you. Congrats to M.O.M Ross Conquest although special mention must also go to TheBigMan00@hotmail.co.uk who once again was flawless between the posts and exhibited probably his best string of saves to date. Dece, really dece.

Goal Scorers: Conquest (3), A Williams (4), Sutton

M.O.M: 'Ricky' Ross Conquest